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10 May, 2000 2.59pm pdt | Mammoth Edition
Be Dope Postpones IPO
Be Dope

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Citing investor concern about the proposed Microsoft breakup and a departure from a "herd-like mentality" among investors in general, Be Dope officials announced their IPO would be delayed. No reschedule date was specified, but they indicated the IPO would go forward at such a time when people are once again "hemorrhaging money".

Along with the Nasdaq's poor health these days, some potential investors are concerned that the proposed breakup of the Microsoft corporation would eliminate a vital source of stories for the infamous website.

Be Dope CEO Michael-Frobwit Popovic believes these fears to be unfounded.

"To paraphrase [Be, Inc. CEO] Jean-Louis Gassée, 'I like Microsoft so much, I wish there were nine of them to satirize'," said Popovic.

Although confident of a strong IPO showing, even in the current market, officials decided to postpone the IPO in order to "maximize the siphoning of funds".

Be Dope stock will be traded on the Nasdaq stock exchange, under the proposed ticker symbol DOPE. Interested investors should gather their funds in neat stacks of twenty and fifty dollar bills (unmarked) and await further instructions.

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