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21 February, 2000 11.52am pst | Mann Gulch Edition
Be Dope Announces Be Dope Linux Version 27.1
Be Dope Linux

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Today Be Dope announced their release of "Be Dope Linux Version 27.1" - in some ways the most advanced version of Linux on the market. Although Be Dope employees do not plan to personally use the new operating system, they hope a resulting overvaluation of their IPO will bring them funds for other projects.

"We are proud to offer Be Dope Linux 27.1," said Be Dope CEO Mike Popovic. "Not so proud that we are going to actually use it or anything, but we're sure others will enjoy it."

The release follows the Linux strategy mentioned in the prospectus for Be Dope's upcoming IPO.

Be Dope Linux 27.1 is being released weeks ahead of schedule, according to Popovic.

"Our original production facilities consisted of a RedHat Linux CD and a CD-R writer," explained Popovic. "We have now supplemented this with a green felt-tip marker and any extra copies of Linux CDs we can get our hands on."

In a market already crowded with competing Linux versions, Popovic claims Be Dope Linux Version 27.1 has the edge.

"With this release we are really nudging the envelope. Primarily we lead the market in terms of version numbering," said Popovic. "You'll note that other versions of Linux are languishing at version 6.3 or even 2.2 - only Be Dope Linux Version 27.1 with AVN (Advanced Version Numbering) brings you a version of Linux numbered at 27.1".

However, Popovic is quick to comment on the importance of the cooperative spirit of the "Linux Community."

"It is no exaggeration to say that without companies like RedHat, Be Dope Linux Version 27.1 would not exist," said Popovic.

Although some have expressed surprise that a BeOS-focused company would release a Linux product, others point to this event as support of the Linux Event Horizon Theory - a theory which states that it will eventually become economically unviable to start any company other than one that deal with Linux in some way, or at least mentions Linux often in press releases.

Be Dope Linux Version 27.1 will be released under the Grue Public License (GPL), which is compatible with the General Public License (GPL), with the added conditions that software may only be copied in absolute darkness. Violators are likely to be eaten.

The expected offering price of Be Dope shares (NASDAQ:DOPE) climbed to $25 - $30 on the news.

Sideways Looking Statements
Many of the statements in this document are sideways-looking in nature. That is, statements that are not historical facts are "sideways-looking statements," including without limitation statements regarding any plans for actually releasing a product, the way we plan to spend shareholder funds, the availability of the Internet, a future appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman, and our ability to produce content while avoiding distractions, including but not limited to: movies, cable tv, wfuv.org, porn, clubhopping, piercings, crummy.com, garlic noodles, brownian motion, the cotton squares, La Cutest of Go-Go, firewhirls, good surf conditions, meteorite showers and smoked gouda cheese.

Actual events or results may differ materially as a result of risks facing Be Dope or actual results differing from the assumptions underlying such statements (especially for statements entirely fabricated). Actually, the laws of probability pretty much dictate that any specific predictions will be the most unlikely to become true. Exceptions are made for those who believe in a system of parallel universes, in which case there will be one universe where events and results will conform exactly to the statements made, and an infinite number of universes where things will be different. No guarantees are made by Be Dope as to which universe you are currently inhabiting.

All such sideways-looking statements are expressly qualified in their entirety by the "Risk Factors" and other cautionary statements included in Be Dope's prospectus, filed pursuant to Rule 5038(b) on February 3, 2000 (Commission File No. 867-5309), and other public filings with the Same-old Expected Commissions.

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