BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Menlo Park, California, lays silent as thousands of workers are unable to obtain the one thing vital to the continuation of their work: coffee.

Starting about a week ago, coffee began run unusually low at area restaurants, supermarkets and cafes.

"I've seen this before," said Howard Bleckman of Peet's Organic Coffee. "Anytime some company gets close to deadlline on a revolutionary technology project coffee will funnel into their engineers faster than water into a desert cactus."

Preparing to couter-balance the effect of the unknown but hard-working engineers, Bleckman doubled his usual monthly order. Other cafes did the same.

That's when the hijackings began.

Any truck carrying coffee into Menlo Park has mysteriously vanished. Truck drivers are eventually found miles away, babbling incoherently. Several turned up painted and naked at the Burning Man festival.

As the city lay paralyzed, police have few leads. One traumatized truck driver tells the tale of a 21" monitor being dropped through his windshield from the roof a four-story building, but police have dismissed his story as delusional and highly improbable.

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