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14 September, 11.30pm pdt
Be Employees Banned From Las Vegas

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) In an unprecedented move, all Be, Inc. employees - past, present and future - have been banned from the city of Las Vegas, Nevada, the gambling capitol of the United States.

It seems on a recent outing, a group of eight Be engineers racked up winnings of over US$580,000 in just two hours.

"It was like nothing I had ever seen," said pit boss Rod Caputo. "Here we had a small group of people beating the house odds in a variety of games - roulette, poker, blackjack, slots - you name it, they were winning big."

A quick review of survellience tapes showed they were not "cheating" the house by any traditional methods. There was no counting of cards, no high-tech gadgetry or magnets at work. Further research traced all the players back to Be, Inc.

"Of course, we use the BeOS in all of our operations," said Caputo, "so I am familiar with its power. What I did not realize is that the brain patterns of those who work on the BeOS for any extended period of time are altered in such a way that they gain an almost sixth sense when it comes to predicting seemingly random events. No doubt a result of tracking down bugs in a mult-threaded environment. It is the only logical explanation."

The Be engineers were rounded up and congratulated on their winnings. They autographed a few copies of the Be Developer's Guide before being kicked out on their asses, and told never to return.


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