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29 September, 1.55pm pdt
Microsoft Demands Be Dope Docs

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Claiming "a vast conspiracy" of leading high-tech and information leaders such as Netscape, Oracle and Be Dope "plotting against them," Microsfot today demanded Be Dope, Inc. turn over thousands of pages of research gathered during its ten year history of delivering the most in-depth BeOS and technology news.

After demanding research from two university professors writing a book about Netscape Communications, Microsoft turned its attention to Be Dope.

"Be Dope, with its vast network of insides sources has thousands of documents related to our anti-trust defense," said Microsoft. "Or at least we're guessing they do. At the very least, hundreds, perhaps. Well, they must have something, so we'll just take it all and sort through it until we can find something we can twist into helping us."

Fortunately, Be Dope had received PGP for the BeOS earlier in the day. After encrypting the files, all research was moved off-site to a secret location, rumored to be the editor's sock drawer.

Be Dope editors have pledged not to turn any information over to the software giant, citing their First Amendment rights.

"We've never heard of this 'First Amendment' defense, but we'll research it and crush it in time," Microsoft countered.


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