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28 October, 5.55pm pst
Rapid Beta Test Deployment

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Patrons of the Palo Alto Fry's Electronics were witness to a surreal scene as the BeOS R4 beta test kicked into high gear.

At approximately 3.37 pst, an advance squad of several Be employees infiltrated Fry's and distracted security guards and Fry's personnel by acting suspicious in the memory chip aisle, juggling several copies of Quake II and asking basic technical questions.

In the midst of the confusion over fifty additional Be employees cleared shoppers from the personal computer area and began installing BeOS R4 Beta 3 on as many machines as possible.

"We want to test on as many systems as possible," Be, Inc.'s Baron Arnold commented hurriedly as he coordinated the strike.

Thanks to the speed of the BeOS and skills of the Be employees, basic testing and uninstallation was completed in under a half-hour. In that time, several Fry's managers were either subdued or distracted from interfering with the operation.

"3D Starchart was enough to distract most of them," explained Arnold. "The others we just blasted with american_thighs at full volume. They're unconscious now, but should come around in an hour or two."

Fry's Electronics declined to press charges after Arnold left them with several copies of the BeOS, some Be Tshirts and a rare autographed copy of "virtual (void)".

Eyewitness accounts of the BeOS being tested on iMacs could not be confirmed at press time.


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