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10 November, 5.22pm pst
All Bets On Be

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) As Las Vegas prepares for the annual computer show madness that is COMDEX, the BeOS has been making the rounds and generating quite a buzz among the technical press, industry analysts and the rest of the usual suspects. But it is the recognition of one organization more than any other that carries the most weight in this town:

The Las Vegas odds makers.

"The BeOS has come out of nowhere to throw this year's COMDEX betting into total disarry," commented Harry "The Mole" Finoli. "Across the board, a surprising number of the people are placing their money on the BeOS as more features of Release 4 are made public, causing us to shift the odds accordingly."

Indeed, the odds of the BeOS "stealing the show" are placed at just 3 to 1.

"Two months ago, I would have said more like 163 to 1," admitted Tony "The Peach" Spinella. "But the engineers have held tight to their deadlines and cranked out an amazing number of improvements, all in the midst of a compiler switch, the likes of which we haven't seen in this town for some time."

"The 3 to 1 odds are especially impressive when you take into account that Be doesn't make use of Booth Babes, sports cars, chorus line dancers, live animals, basketball hoops, putting greens or other standard tricks of the trade," added "Four-fingered" Louie Batista.

Other odds include 83 to 1 odds of Bill Gates personally assaulting the Be booth, 745 to 1 odds that Jean_Louis Gassée will refrain from making any sexual analogies, 15 to 1 odds Be, Inc. will secretly be displaying a G3 port, and just 2 to 1 odds that Be's neighbors will be so annoyed by the overflow of people trying to watch the BeOS demos that they will demand a refund from COMDEX organizers.


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