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13 November, 11.52pm pst
Virgin Mary Sighted In The BeOS

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) In what some are calling a "miracle of miracles", a group of Be programmers have claimed to see visions of the Virgin Mary while using the BeOS.

"I was staring at the monitor one day, stuck on a bug in my code, when all of a sudden I saw the unmistakable faint outline of the Blessed Virgin Mary reflected in my monitor," said Donald Fontana. "At first I thought it was simply from being overtired - as soon as I booted into my other operating system, the vision was gone."

However, the very next week, the vision returned, once again when Fontana was using the BeOS.

"This time the Blessed Mother communicated to me. She sent BMessages straight to my soul," Fontana professed.

The miracles did not end there. During the vision, all code on the hard drive was optimized and rendered bug-free. Additionally, the computer was cleansed of all other operating systems, which Fontana claims Mary declared "the impure work of the fallen angel Lucifer".

Now, Fontana's normally sleepy town of York, Pennsylvania is deluged by programmers, who have come to regard Fontana's computer room as a modern-day Mecca.

"I know if Mary merely gazes upon my Zip disk, she will cast out the demons which have been causing a particulary nasty bug that crashes the app_server," said one of the over 75,000 programmer pilgrims who journeyed to Pennsylvania from all over the country.

The Catholic church has yet to officially recognize the visions as an "official" miracle, but add they are reviewing the case. In an odd coincidence, the Vatican's Quake clan has risen 22 spots in the last week on the official Quake ladder.

"As we like to say around here, it's one of God's mysteries," replied a Vatican spokesperson when asked to comment on the coincidence.

"Look for further messages from the Blessed Mother on BeCodeTalk," added Fontana, who has pledged to share the wisdom the visions have provided.


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