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19 November, 5.52pm pst
BeOS As Dance Craze?

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Tired of swing dancing? "BeOS Dancing" may be the next craze to grip the folks who like to move their feet.

Several reports have come in to Be Dope Headquarters over the past week of experiments fusing the BeOS with dancing. According to reports, by breaking down complicated dance steps into smaller steps and spreading the steps across several dancers, the "danciness" of a group of people can be increased 30%-80% versus the same group of people dancing with conventional dance steps.

"The BeOS Dance method simply rejects so-called 'legacy' dance steps, and as a result the performance increase is incredible. These legacy steps were designed back when the primary function of dancing was to show off physical agility, socialize with your neighbors and perhaps even have a good time," said a Dance Engineer, speaking on condition of anonymity. "BeOS Dancing addresses the needs of today: sizing up potential mating partners, being featured on ESPN2 and making kick-ass GAP commercials."

BeOS Dance developers were quick to point out this is not the end for ordinary dancing.

"We seek peaceful coexistence," one developer explained. "There will always be a need for traditional dances at weddings and other formal functions. Then, when you really want to perform, you switch to BeOS Dancing. Simple as that."


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