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6 January, 5.30pm
Microsoft Unleashes Death From Above (Allegedly)

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Late last night, Hitachi's Japan headquarters was destroyed as a searing bolt of intense heat and light descended upon it from high in the sky. The bolt was so intense that the entire structure was instantly vaporized into atoms and the earth transformed into a sea of white-hot molten lava in a half mile radius around where the building formerly stood.

According to authorities, no one was in the building at the time, although they admit it is hard to tell for sure since not even dust remained after the attack. Local police have attributed the source of the attack as "an advanced, laser-equipped satellite, somewhere in orbit around the earth." This is the first laser-death satellite attack on record for the area.

Hitachi has no official comment on the attack. Unofficially, Be Dope sources have learned high-ranking Hitachi officials believe Bill Gates, Microsoft CEO, was personally responsible for the destruction of their building.

"Soon after we started shipping systems with the BeOS pre-installed, we received a visit from the Microsoft Goon Squad (MGS)," said a source close to Hitachi on condition of anonymity. "They were quite 'displeased' by the BeOS arrangement. We dismissed their threats and demands, but it would seem they were not kidding around."

Rumor has it several Hitachi officials received email from Bill Gates the day before the attack asking if it was unseasonalby hot at Hitachi HQ.

The buzz in Silicon Valley agrees this could be construed as some sort of warning.

"Be has stated it was talking with several OEMs about bundling the BeOS - what happened to Hitachi is being taken as a warning as what might happen to certain companies if they also decided to cooperate with Be," emailed an official from a leading OEM.

Our source close to Hitachi reports officials are dedicated to continue shipping machines with the BeOS pre-installed.


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