BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Superbowl sponsors today lashed out at the BeOS after one-third of their expected viewers neglected to plop themselves down on their collective sofas in front of the biggest football game in the United States yesterday.

"A quick marketing survey revealed that much of the usual viewers were either installing and discovering the BeOS, coding for the BeOS, using the BeOS to be creative or investigating their BeOS 4.1b1 CDs," said Daniel Amriv, Director of Sponsor Relations at the FOX network. "Clearly, this is a dangerous trend."

The survey reveals any exposure to the BeOS unleashes stores of curiousity, independent thought and creativity long thought dulled through prolonged exposure to (among other things) repetitive and/or inane advertising.

"How will consumers know which brand of soft drink to buy? Which car will get them the babes? Which deodorant will leave them more shower-fresh than any other? If this 'BeOS effect' continues, soon millions of people will begin to think for themselves, not base their identity on what they purchase and make decisions based on rational analyzation of facts - this spells disaster for the advertising industry," lamented Amriv.

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