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2 February, 5.05pm pst
Be Engineers Visit Area 51

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) A source in the New Mexico desert who is know only by the handle "Scorpion" relates that he's observed several key Be, Inc. engineers being escorted in and out of "Area 51" the fable secret government base that contains alien spaceships, results of alien autopsies, hyper-secret UFO file footage and all of the socks that ever mysteriously disappeared while you were doing your laundry.

"Of course the whole Area 51 idea has become such a joke in the Media that the government knows we would be ridiculed to actually claim there was UFO activity at that base. That's exactly why some theorists believe the base is in fact there," explained Scorpion. "However, they know we serious UFO-ologists know that would be the perfect cover story so we dismiss that idea. That's where they get tricky and actually put the aliens there, knowing that we know that they know what we know, and figuring that we won't know that they know what we know that they know. It's all very clear."

According to Scorpion, Be engineers are being brought in an attempt to unlock the mysteries of alien ship computer systems.

"Be engineers are the only ones working on anything advanced and legacy-free enough to even have a chance at understanding alien technology," said Scorpion.

The engineers will most likely provide their expertise in a "technology-exchange" deal, where Be, Inc. gains the right to use some technologies discovered in the course of reverse-engineering the ship.

According to Scorpion, the NSA is currently installing defense lasers disguised as celluar telephone antennae on top of the Be building, to help keep a tight lid on the new technology.

Be, Inc. had no official comment on this story, but unofficial sources report we can expect to see alien technology integrated with the BeOS somewhere in the R6 timeframe.


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