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9 February, 5.37pm pst
Year Of The BeOS

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) The world was stunned today when China's leading astrologers announced that the upcoming Chinese new year 4697, traditionally known as the "Year of the Hare", will now be known as "The Year of the BeOS".

"We are certainly honored by this turn of events and will continue to strive to make the BeOS the best in can be, and worthy of such a great honor," said Be, Inc. CEO Jean-Louis Gassée.

It was further announced that the change would be implemented retroactively, so people who were born in a hare year (this century: 1903, '15, '27, '39, '51, '63, '75, '87) will now be considered to have been born in a BeOS year. According to the astrologers, people born in a BeOS year are said to be friendly and sociable. They accomplish tasks with speed and efficiency and in fact can easily concnetrate on many tasks at the same time. In work and love they seek harmony and peaceful relationships.

To celebrate the proclamation Be engineers will lend their talents to the annual Chinese New Year parade in San Francisco's Chinatown, adding multimedia special effects and kernel hacks to the traditional fare of fireworks, dragons, music and dancing.


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