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3 March, 5.28pm pst
Microsoft Sues Over Haiku Error Messages

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Microsoft today filed suit against tiny Be, Inc. over the use of NetPositive's famous haiku error messages.

"We have a patent on using cryptic text to inform the user that 'something has gone wrong'," said a Microsoft spokesperson. "We demand compensation for this blatantly illegal theft of ideas."

Legal experts were quick to dismiss the merits of the case.

"Even though the NetPositive error messages are in haiku [a type of poem] form, they are actually more useful than most Microsoft error messages that are written in so-called plain english," said legal advisor Ned Jenkins.

Be was quick to point out that system error messages are given in "plain english" form, a point not known by most users, who have yet to encounter any general BeOS error messages.

"I don't know what the BeOS says when it 'crashes' and I don't expect I'll find out any time soon," said one grinning user.

Most experts believe the lawsuit is Microsoft's retaliation against Be, Inc. disproving their argument that "since NetePositive is integrated with the BeOS, we're just doing what everyone else does" in the recent DOJ-Microsoft antitrust case. In videotaped demonstrations, the DOJ demonstrated that NetPositive was not integrated in any way. He also read several haiku error messages aloud, reportedly to mock the Microsoft lawyers.


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