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20 April, 1.17pm pdt
IRS Probes Be Dope (Ouch)

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Be Dope offices were temporarily shut down last week as Internal Revenue Service officials investigated the company's 1998 tax return.

"When we see a business making very little money yet receiving a $33,000 refund, that raises a red flag with us," said Commissioner of Internal Revenue Charles O. Rossotti.

IRS officers stormed the offices just before dawn last Wednesday. All computers and related equipment were seized, as were fax machines, telephones, pizzas and comic books.

"If it was claimed as a deduction, we seized it," explained Rossotti.

Upon arrival to work, Be Dope employees found the entire building wrapped in yellow tape reading "IRS Investigation - Do Not Enter".

The Be Dope executive team (aka the Council of Doom) flew to Washington, D.C. to defend their tax return.

"We pour all we have into Be Dope - thus just about everything we spend, from computers to food to clothing - can somehow be tied into the Be Dope experience," said Be Dope's CEO.

After days of negotiation, Be Dope not only retained their refund, but convinced the agency to switch to the BeOS for some of their internal computer use.

"We're always looking for ways to modernize the IRS, and with our new BeOS systems in place next year taxpayers can expect to see more efficient processing of their returns," Rossotti said at a press conference on Monday.

Be Dope's offices have been restored to something resembling order, and regular reporting will now resume.


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