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28 November, 2000 9.33am pdt | Cod Edition
Be Dope Sneaking Secrets?
analyzing Be Dope

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Is there a pattern in the seemingly random posting of stories to Be Dope over the last month? The answer is a resounding "yes" according to Jefferson Igis, leader of a loose-knit group of BeOS conspiracy theorists known as "The BeOS Conspiracy Theorists".

"The dates of these so-called 'random' postings are actually a key, that when properly applied to said stories, unlocks secret messagess," claims Igis. "7, 3, 31, 18, 3, 12 ... it's so obvious if you know what you're doing!"

Be Dope officials dismiss the claims, citing instead vacations and other projects as the reason for the temporary decline.

"I've just been really busy," I reportedly said.

Alarmed by the slow story flow and suspecting foul play, Igis and his associates began performing frequency counts, pattern analysis, vowel weighting, fractal analysis and Huberthorn graphing tests on recent stories. He claims the results pointed to the existence of a master-key sequence that he is close to cracking.

"Then we'll know the real reason for the slow-down, plus exactly who these coded messages are meant for, and exactly what conspiracy Be Dope is involved in," Igis explained.

Coincidentally, Igis predicts the next Be Dope story will be published today.

"According to our numbers, we should see the next Be Dope story on November 28th," said Igis, "if they somehow also manage to work the word 'giraffe' into the story, we'll have direct confirmation of our theories."


New Stories
New stories by the author of Be Dope can be found at Segfault.org

e Villa Celebration
Did you know all of Be Dope's e Villa stories are available via one handy page?

Be Dope Merchandise
These remaining tshirts are sure to be a collector's item someday. Buy now.

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