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12 September, 2000 2:48pm pdt | Zion Edition
Function is_pants_on_fire() Added To BeIA
Inside BeIA

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Responding to accusations of "lying", Be Inc. engineers have added a new function to the BeIA build to settle the matter. The is_pants_on_fire() function will return zero if no lies are being told, and return the temperature of the burning pants if, indeed, falsehoods are being stated. The move comes after a rival Internet Appliance operating system company said of Be engineers: "They're lying", referring to claims of BeIA's code footprint.

"They're lying," said Justin Copperstein of BeyondBeyond to the press. He also stated this to industry analysts, heads of international corporations, his mom and the guy who sells him coffee every morning. According to several BeyondBeyond employees, he repeats this phrase dozens of times a day, speaking to himself if necessary. BeyondBeyond plans to market their own version of an OS for Internet Appliances.

"They can't have Flash and Java and MP3 encoding in that small a code footprint," asserted Copperstein. When pressed for proof of his allegations, he simply implored people to "trust me on this one."

"I think someone needs to tell Mr. Copperstein that 'Denial' is not a river in Africa, if you know what I mean," said one member of the press corps.

The new is_pants_on_fire() function, as well as a bi-partisan testing commitee have determined that no lying has taken place on Be's part.

When told of these results Copperstein covered his ears with his hands and said "La La La La La! I can't hear you! La La La La!"


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