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21 August, 2000 11:47am pdt | Ergo Edition
Hacker, Stephenson, Same?

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) The famed group of BeOS conspiracy theorists, the BeOS Conspiricay Theorists (BCT), today announced their belief that famed science fiction author Neal Stephenson and long-time BeOS advocate Scot Hacker are in fact, one in the same person.

Stephenson, known for works such as Snow Crash, Zodiac and Cryptonomicon, and Hacker, author of The BeOS Bible, The Definitive Guide to MP3 and dozens of BeOS-related articles, both denied the claim this morning.

"Well, duh," read an update on the BCT's website. "That's exactly what you would expect him to do, and this action only supports our claim."

According to the BCT, there are several key pieces of evidence that prove Hacker and Stephenson are the same person:

  • Hacker and Stephenson have never been seen together. "This is the classic Bruce Wayne-Batman situation".

  • Both Hacker and Stephenson are authors. "Sure, you would think they would choose diverse careers to hide their little masquerade, but by thinking that, you play directly into their hands.

  • Hacker is known for writing non-fiction; Stephenson is known for writing fiction. "Thus avoiding the jacket photos ending up next to each other at the bookstores - see next point."

  • Both have beards of the Van Dyke style and share common physical characteristics. "He alters his facial makeup between characters, but the resemblence is unmistakable. He keeps the beard in both personas, altering slightly with extensions and weaves as needed".

  • Hacker is obviously a fake name that suits Stephenson. "Many consider Stephenson to be a classic hacker, and his respect for that class is shown clearly in his fiction. Some would dismiss this argument on the basis that everyone would know it, but they know that you know, and you know how that goes".

  • Both love BeOS. While the Scot Hakcer persona works overtime to extol the virtues of Be technology in articles and The BeOS Bible, Stephenson give is the seemingly innocent push now and then, likening it to a flying Batmobile (note the Batman/Bruce Wayne subtext) and giving it mention in Cryptonomicon (the first fiction book to do so)".
Attempts by Be Dope editors to get Hacker and Stephenson in the same room at the same time were unsuccessful at press time.

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