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3 May, 2000 11.43am pdt | Gumby Edition
Gassée Mandates Hyphenated Names
JLG and friends

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Exhibiting some of his trademark eccentric/French behavior that makes the press corps drool, Be, Inc. CEO Jean-Louis Gassée today mandated that all Be employees adopt hyphenated first names.

"In America, the name 'Jean-Louis' has always helped me by drawing attention to itself and being memorable," explained Gassée. "Plus I happen to think it's quite stylish."

At a company-wide meeting, employees were assigned their new name suffixes by picking them at random from a hat.

Employee reaction was mixed.

"I guess I got off relatively lucky," said Baron-Munchausen Arnold.

"I tried to argue that the accent mark in my first name made it unusual enough, but was unsuccessful," lamented Benoît-Fred Schillings.

There is no report as to whether or not Be employees will now start referring to each other using three-letter acronyms.

"Now if only everyone spoke French," mused Gassée.


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