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22 October, 1999 3.33pm pdt | GGL Edition
Analysts Cite Be, Inc. Shortcomings
Be, Inc. Report

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Be Dope has obtained the contents of an analyst's report concerning Be, Inc. and its future as a public company. While mostly postitive, it does offer insight into several areas where they feel Be can improve. Read on for exclusive excerpts from this report, due to be published in the Wall Street Journal next week.

Quoting from the area of the report labeled "possible shortcomings":

"Lack of Trendy Lowercase Letters in Products:
Be, Inc. currently does not sell any products adorned with the "i" or "e" prefix. In fact, there is a large use of the letter "B", an untested and unproven letter in the marketplace.

Shipping Product:
Unlike many companies with successful "conceptual" IPOs, Be, Inc. actually has completed, tested and ships a product (currently BeOS 4.5.2). While this product has many technical merits, it falls short of merely announced products since imaginary products have no limits.

Non-celebrity CEO
While Be, Inc. CEO Jean-Louis Gassée was well-known for driving his motorcycle while wearing leather pants and a diamond stud earing while working at Apple, these days he is simply focusing on running a business. While this helps the business of Be, it does not help catch the imagination of the press. Note that Gassée remains proficient in writing provocative articles. It's possible that augmenting this practice with a tongue piercing and/or prominent tattoo could capture the eye of the technical media.

Happy Employees
Be employees often appear in public as happy and fulfilled beings. This sends a message to some that they must be goofing off although the reality is simply that they enjoy working on building a revolutionary operating system."


New Stories
New stories by the author of Be Dope can be found at Segfault.org

e Villa Celebration
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Be Dope Merchandise
These remaining tshirts are sure to be a collector's item someday. Buy now.

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