BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Be Dope has obtained the contents of an analyst's report concerning Be, Inc. and its future as a public company. While mostly postitive, it does offer insight into several areas where they feel Be can improve. Read on for exclusive excerpts from this report, due to be published in the Wall Street Journal next week.

Quoting from the area of the report labeled "possible shortcomings":

"Lack of Trendy Lowercase Letters in Products:
Be, Inc. currently does not sell any products adorned with the "i" or "e" prefix. In fact, there is a large use of the letter "B", an untested and unproven letter in the marketplace.

Shipping Product:
Unlike many companies with successful "conceptual" IPOs, Be, Inc. actually has completed, tested and ships a product (currently BeOS 4.5.2). While this product has many technical merits, it falls short of merely announced products since imaginary products have no limits.

Non-celebrity CEO
While Be, Inc. CEO Jean-Louis Gassée was well-known for driving his motorcycle while wearing leather pants and a diamond stud earing while working at Apple, these days he is simply focusing on running a business. While this helps the business of Be, it does not help catch the imagination of the press. Note that Gassée remains proficient in writing provocative articles. It's possible that augmenting this practice with a tongue piercing and/or prominent tattoo could capture the eye of the technical media.

This Gun for Hire
Looking to put a bit of bite into your corporate copy? Hoping to build a community around your product? The author of Be Dope (and lots of other things) is now available on a full-time, part-time, per-project or per-hour basis. Contact me for details.

New Stories
New stories by the author of Be Dope can be found at Segfault.org

e Villa Celebration
Did you know all of Be Dope's e Villa stories are available via one handy page?

Be Dope Merchandise
These remaining tshirts are sure to be a collector's item someday. Buy now.