; ) Be Dope archive *  icon tarot *  qJLG * haiku
interviews *  bookstore *  newsletter

visit mikepop.net for more info about Mike Popovic

18 October, 1999 3.22pm pdt | Doublestuff Edition
BeOS Accidentally Embedded Into Itself

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Catching themselves by surprise, Be engineers accidentally embedded BeOS into itself this weekend at the R&D labs of the Be campus while experimenting with embedding BeOS into a variety of internet appliances. Although the experiment was unitentional, it has yielded some interesting results.

"Among other things, we found that BeOS is the ideal platform for running BeOS," said Be kernel engineer Ficus Kirkpatrick.

Follow-up tests revealed BeOS outperformed both WindowsCE and Linux when embedded into a BeOS system.

"We hope these results will make BeOS the clear choice of OS for those building internet appliances, set-top boxes and other media convergent devices based on BeOS technology," said Be EVP of Marketing and Sales Roy Graham.

Further study revealed a recursive pattern of benefits.

"For example, if BeOS gives twice the speed of another OS, BeOS embedded into BeOS gives four times the speed," explained Kirkpatrick.

However, attempts to maximize the recursive effects ran into problems on the quantum level.

"We're not sure, but our guess is the exponential increase in OS stability conflicted with the basic randomness of matter on the quantum level," said Kirkpatrick.

Further experimental data was kept confidental by Be, Inc.

"Once again, we apologize for the explosion and would like to assure the public the wormholes caused by the unexpected influx of quantum foam have probably been contained," added Kirkpatrick.


New Stories
New stories by the author of Be Dope can be found at Segfault.org

e Villa Celebration
Did you know all of Be Dope's e Villa stories are available via one handy page?

Be Dope Merchandise
These remaining tshirts are sure to be a collector's item someday. Buy now.

Home | qJLG | Icon Tarot | Story Archive | Interviews | Bookstore | Newsletter | About | Advertise | Contact