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12 October, 1999 4.29pm pdt | Red Pill Edition
BeOS Shipped to Six Billionth Person
over 6 Bln served?

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Today Be, Inc. officials issued a press release titled "BeOS Shipped to Six Billionth Person", causing a rise in stock price and a media swarm of press coverage. Things died down a bit when careful reading revealed that the entire population of Earth had not, in fact, ordered BeOS.

Upon further examination, it was revealed that Be, Inc. had shipped a free copy of BeOS to the as-yet-unnamed baby born in the Sarajevo's University Clinical Centre at 0002 local time (2202GMT) on Tuesday. The UN chose this date as "D6B", the day when humanity would pass the symbolic 6 billion person threshold.

"I am just as surprised as anyone by that misreading of the press release," claimed Be, Inc. EVP of Business and Marketing Roy Graham. "We simply wanted to welcome that baby into the world with a little gift."

For a brief moment, some BeOS enthusiasts thought the elusive "Be Everywhere" campaign had suddenly taken hold all at once.

"At first I assumed the campaign must have been subliminally in action all this time to have gained the entire population of earth as users seemingly overnight," said one BeOS fan. "Then I called my aunt in Michigan and my mom, and neither had ordered BeOS - so I knew something wasn't quite right. I realized my mistake after carefully re-reading the press release."

Although the exact number of BeOS users was not available at press time it is estimated to be "less than six billion".


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