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23 August, 1999 5.35pm pdt
RealPlayer Replaces FakePlayer
Really, really Real

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Be, Inc. today announced a deal with RealNetworks to bring RealPlayer to BeOS, much to the relief of Be engineers in charge of "FakePlayer", a temporary and previously classified project designed to fool BeOS users into believing they could experience streaming Real content using BeOS. A Be, Inc. engineer revealed details of the project to Be Dope reporters on conditions of anonymity.

"Our users have been demanding the ability to play so-called streaming RealAudio/RealVideo content for some time now," said our source. "In the next release [editor's note: codenamed Ukulele] we planned to give it to them one way or the other."

Our source explained that if the deal with RealNetworks fell through, they would have simply claimed it happened anyway and simulated real-time streams with the "FakePlayer" application.

"Basically FakePlayer would scan your hardrive, find and mix bits of audio and video spliced in with either an mp3 of some engineers playing kazoo or old 'Great Space Coaster' reruns just to add some new content to the mix," explained our source. "We added a lot of 'Net Congestion...Buffering' messages for realism."

In beta testings, most testers believed the audio or video streams simply reflected the latest hot trends in music and video.

"Those crazy kids today," said 25 year-old Larry Kethson, rolling his eyes as he listened to 'streaming' music via FakePlayer during beta-testing.

When asked if there were any other secret projects designed to fake out users, Be engineers assured reporters that this was an extreme and unique case.

"Users should expect 100% true effects from BeOS," he stated as he went back to work on his real-time quantum particle viewer application.


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