; ) Be Dope archive *  icon tarot *  qJLG * haiku
interviews *  bookstore *  newsletter

visit mikepop.net for more info about Mike Popovic

6 August, 1999 4.22pm pdt
BeOS: Still Not Based On UNIX
possible new boot graphic

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Despite several recent news reports stating BeOS is based on UNIX, Linux and/or BSD, BeOS remains a built-from-the-ground-up, not-based-on-anything operating system. Be contacted Be Dope with information on how Be engineers are working to make this clearer than ever in the next release.

"We thought our pervasive multi-threading, easy install, and other technical merits would be enough to set us apart," said Be's Steve Sakoman. "It seems not to be the case, so we're kicking around a few ideas for the next release."

Below follow a list of possible actions. This is still a tentative list and you probably won't see all of them in the next release.

- Add a paragraph to the license agreement stating that the user fully understands that BeOS is not based on Linux/UNIX/BSD, and that said user will be in violation of the aforementioned agreement if he/she/it communicates BeOS in any way (including, but not limited to written or spoken communication) as being based on Linux. Violation of the license will require the user to install VMS on their home computer 100 times.

- During install Be will have a dialog reading:

    [X] Non-UNIX based install
    [ ] UNIX-based install
with the second option grayed out. Attempts to select it present the user with a warning message and electric shock.

- Installer reads "Now copying BeOS files. Not copying any Linux files"

- When the installer finishes, it pops up a box saying "Gee, wasn't that easy? That couldn't have been Linux."

- During bootup, a new status message will read:
"Checking OS closed-source status... 100% non-Linux base confirmed."

- Rename NetPositive to NetPositive(ly not based on Linux)

- Rewrite the shell to use PDP-11 commands

- Include movie of Linus Torvalds declaring BeOS is not based on Linux in the /optional folder

- Start spreading the rumor that Linux is really based on BeOS and hence the confusion

- Work with RedHat and other distributions to modify the Linux bootup source to proclaim that BeOS is not based on Linux

- Play 5039 non-stop in the background

- Replacement of application "BeMail" with "ThisIsNotLinuxMail"

- Benoit Mandlebrot Demo has been renamed to "Not Torvalds Mandlebrot"

- When launching the terminal it now says "Welcome to the BeOS shell. We are not based on UNIX"

- About box scrolls through the source code to the entire BeOS, so people can see for themselves.


New Stories
New stories by the author of Be Dope can be found at Segfault.org

e Villa Celebration
Did you know all of Be Dope's e Villa stories are available via one handy page?

Be Dope Merchandise
These remaining tshirts are sure to be a collector's item someday. Buy now.

Home | qJLG | Icon Tarot | Story Archive | Interviews | Bookstore | Newsletter | About | Advertise | Contact