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Article Archive - 20 July - 24 July, 1998

24 July, 4.28pm edt

NYC Deli Honors Be CEO
On 7th Avenue between 54th and 55th Streets in New York City you will find the Carnegie Deli - world famous not only for its delicious food and surly waiters, but also for its tradition of naming sandwiches after famous personalities. Today, the Carnegie Deli announced it would be adding a new sandwich to its menu - the "Gassée".

Traditionally, sandwiches are named after movie and stage stars. However, while in NYC for PC Expo, Be Inc. CEO Jean-Louis Gassée visited the Carnegie Deli and so impressed the owners with an impromptu demo of the BeOS that the owners decided to honor Gassée with a sandwich bearing his name.

The "Gassée" consists of brie cheese and slices of granny apple on French baguette bread. Gassée is only the third computer executive to have a sandwich named after him. Carnegie Deli patrons can also order the "Steve Jobs" - several inches of pure ham on rye bread, or the "Bill Gates" - a bun with ketchup and no other contents.

23 July, 5.32pm edt

Ancient Couches Inspiration For Multi-Threaded OS
Be Dope agents who infiltrated Be HQ last week gained access to perhaps the most important Be relics: the couches.

These couches were purchased by Be, Inc. CEO Jean-Louis Gassée for just US$10 the day after he founded Be, Inc. back in 1990. At that time, he had no idea what product Be, Inc. would produce (aside from the "makes my nipples hard" prerequisite).

While one would expect the couches to look a little worse-for-wear after all this time, in fact the couches have retained the exact same level of disheveledness over the past eight years. This is not in fact due to any extreme care taken by Be employees to preserve them, but rather a function of the laws of physics - for the couches to degrade in appearance any further, they would in fact have to disintegrate.

Gassée and his recently-hired small team of engineers spent weeks upon the couches in brainstorming sessions, attempting to decide what type of product Be would focus on.

According to Be lore, one engineer (perhaps under the influence of tainted bean burritos) forgot to take care while sitting on the couch one night, and found himself entangled deep inside the couch, unable to escape the tangle of fraying threads that threatened to wrap him in a mummy-like enclosure with every move.

Gassée and the other engineers found him paralyzed with fear later that night, and after mocking him for a few hours, set him free. To everyone's surprise, the engineer emerged not only with severe emotional scars, but with an idea for a truly multi-threaded OS as well. Eventually, this evolved into the BeOS as we know it today.

21 July, 11.36pm edt

Expander Icon Speaks Out
For the first time ever, Be Dope received an inside story from someone literally inside the BeOS - namely the Expander Icon.

"Although I am known now as the Expander Icon, my biggest role was as 'Construction Worker' in the Village People," said Expander.

Expander informed Be Dope that Be, Inc. often harvested talent from ex-famous and ex-semi-famous personalities.

"Take the Tracker itself - the word is that she used to be one of Rin Tin Tin's stunt doubles," revealed Expander.

"By infusing the BeOS with so many unique personalities, we help it have a distinctive voice among other operating systems," explained a Be, Inc. recruiter.

"I'm hoping to get my former Village People co-star 'Motorcycle Cop' the role of 'BeOS Mime Policeman'," added Expander.

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