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Article Archive - 1 June to 5 June, 1998

5 June, 10.40am edt

BeOS Next Mission For Road Rules Crew
The basis of Mtv's popular series Road Rules is simple - take a handful of strangers, put them in a recreational vehicle and issue them weekly challenges that they must meet if they want to earn their salary. Challenges range fun (performing in a comedy club), to intense (working in a Detroit emergency room) to the downright dangerous (stuntwalking on the wings of a biplane).

However, no previous adventure has prepared them for this week's task - infiltrating the headquarters of Microsoft, Inc. and installing the BeOS on a Microsoft demo computer that Bill Gates will use to announce the official release of Windows98 at a press conference June 15th.

"The techs among us are already big fans of the BeOS, but the prospect of getting it onto one of Big Bill G's computers is a bit daunting," admitted roadruler Jon.

The first step of their plan is already complete. Roadruler Sean is now on the inside as a Microsoft Technical Support employee.

"At first, I protested this role, since I am the least technical of the group," said Sean. "But everyone assured me my lack of any real technical knowledge would help me blend in."

Once on the inside, Sean found it easy to grant covert access to the other roadrulers.

"The most surprising thing we found once we started snooping around was the strong presence of the BeOS already inside Microsoft headquarters," reported roadruler Cynthia. "Not only were there a few machines here and there with a BeOS partition, but there was an entire lab with BeOS machines in them. It's like they had a team working at understanding it down to the very kernel."

The next stage of the plan involves a demo of the BeOS designed to distract all those in the building of the Microsoft campus where the public demo room is located.

"For that, of course, I'll use the BeOS," said roadruler and Demo Goddess Rachel. "Since most of the employees in that area are only familiar with Windows, showing the BeOS on one of the big monitors will stop everyone in their tracks as they see what their hardware can do when configured with a modern-day OS."

At that point, roadruler Eric will slip into the demo room, install the BeOS on all the machines, and set it as the default boot option.

"Luckily, installing the BeOS will only take about twelve minutes," explained Eric. "The risks are substantial, but well worth it for the look on Gates' face as he announced the 'most powerful OS to come along' and then boots into the BeOS."

Be, Inc. would not comment on the stunt, or on the rumors of a recent investment by Mtv Communications. But they reportedly laughed long and loud.

4 June, 2.35am edt

Aura of Coolness Envelopes Menlo Park
Menlo Park, CA officials are at a loss to explain the sudden "cool" status their town has acquired. Over the past several months, there has been an increase of visitors and public opinion polls show the town's "coolness rating" the highest ever.

Area merchants couldn't be happier.

"People just seem to keep wandering into town, seemingly excited about something, but not sure what," said a local restaurant owner. "Eventually, they have to eat, and this makes me happy."

"I can't really say what specifically brought me here," said visitor Abe Harris. "I just feel like this is the place to be; that the world is about to witness great things, and it will all start here."

The densest population of visitors is centered around the headquarters of Be, Inc., where a large number of people have been gathered for days, some camped out in tents or in their cars.

"The impromtu camping village has taken on a carnival-type atmosphere, as people play frisbee, hold cook-outs and install the BeOS onto their machines," reported the local newspaper.

City officials have no plans to disperse the crowds.

"They have been peaceful and well-behaved, and in fact have upgraded much of the city's computer system. Things have never ran this efficiently before," said police Sgt. Dan Wickowitz.

3 June, 10.56am edt

The BeOS: Treasure Map To Millions?
Fans of the BeOS know it offers speed, stability and an exciting environment for revolutionary applications. Now, it might offer something else: a treasure map leading to a pirate's fortune in gold and jewels.

According to rumors making the rounds in Menlo Park, CA, a Be Inc. engineer came across an ancient treasure map while on vacation in Florida. This map appeared to be made by the legendary pirate, Claude the Ugly, whose was ship was sunk in a fierce battle off the coast of Florida in the late 17th century. His legendary treasure of gold and jewels - including the famed giant ruby, "Blood Clot of the Sea" - was never found among the wreckage of the ship. Treasure hunters have held that the treasure must have been hidden somewhere in what is now the Florida territory before the ship was lost.

The unknown Be Inc. engineer safely transported the map back to California, but not before rumor of its existence spread among the treasure seeker community. The Be engineer, fearing he was followed, decided the simple paper map was not secure.

"We're talking no encryption, no redundancy, no backup - nothing," the engineer reportedly said to a colleague.

According to reports, the engineer then went about the task of hiding the map's secrets within the BeOS itself. Taking advantage of the unique abilities of the BeOS file system, the map was first broken down into an ASCII code, then spread across attributes of various standard BeOS files.

The engineer then led would-be treasure hunters on a false trail by altering the original map and letting it be stolen from his apartment.

"Now, they will follow the false map to a dead end, while anytime I want to retrieve the original map information I simply have to perform a series of keystroke and mouse-click combinations in StyledEdit," the engineer reportedly boasted.

The rumor has driven recent sales of the BeOS in the coveted "treasure hunter" demographic to record levels.

A Be Inc. spokesperson was "pleased with the increased sales" but would not comment on the authenticity of any possible treasure map located within the BeOS.

2 June, 11.11am edt

Be Dope PC Expo Guide Updated
Be Dope's indispensible Guide to PC Expo and New York City has been updated with more information about the Be Booth, including a spiffy map. Check it out.

Mattel To Release Jean-Louis Gassée Action Figure
Toy industry giant Mattel has announced plans to release a series of action figures based on the biggest names in the computing industry. The first figure in the series will be Be, Inc. CEO Jean-Louis Gassée.

"We wanted an exciting figure to capture the imagination of toy-buyers, and research showed the Gassée figure as the most well-received," said a Mattel spokesperson.

The Gassée figure, along with the popular "kung-fu" grip also has patented "technology-sensitive nipples" which will grow hard in the presence of advanced technology, such as the popular BeOS. Accessories include a French wine and cheese set and a wardrobe of assorted Be tshirts.

The next figure in the series will be the Bill Gates Action Figure. This figure will be sold with the Corporate Raider Playhouse and includes twenty Microsoft Lawyer Action Figures.

1 June, 10.10am edt

Be Dope Presents Guide To PC Expo and NYC
In preparation of Be's presence at PC Expo, Be Dope's New York offices, after extensive research, have compiled the official Guide to PC Expo and NYC.

"While the official PC Expo site presents some useful information, such as the dates of the show, exhibitor lists and registration information, we found it woefully lacking in other areas," said Be Dope Editor and Interim CEO Mike Popovic. "Be Dope's Guide is based on years of experiences at PC Expo and includes information on getting the attention of exhibitors, obtaining free software, scoring tshirts and other goodies, dress codes, booth babes and more."

The Be Dope Guide also includes links to info on New York City's restaurant scene, music, shows, nightlife, transportation and tourist traps. The Guide will be expanded between now and the show to include more information on the Be Booth and some of New York City's secret attractions.

Check out Be Dope's Guide to PC Expo and NYC today! What are you waiting for?

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