Deadly Sun Ray Orbits Earth
Sun Microsystems (NASDAQ:SUNNY) today unveiled the Sun Ray 1, a complex series of satellites and lenses the size of a city block. The Sun Ray is designed to focus solar energy into a deadly ray of heat and light, capable of vaporizing objects on Earth ranging in size from automobiles to skyscrapers.
"The network is the computer dammit, and this time we have the means to get the message across to those who previously were unwilling to accept this simple fact," said Sun co-founder Bill Joy.
According to recent Sun press releases, the Sun Ray 1 is enabled by HotDesk technology.
"Basically, HotDesk technology enables us to superheat the desk of any IS manager who does not see the wisdom of deploying our enterprise appliances," explained Joy.
The HotDesk technology was developed after unsuccessful testing of WarmDesk technology, the testing of which scientists blame for this summer's drought experienced in many parts of North America.
Sun is so far pleased with the speed of adoption of the Sun Ray system, and features many testimonials on its website.
"Although skeptical at first, I am now sure that the Sun Ray system was the right choice for us," said Carrollton City School District Commissioner Harold Raines, standing outside the charred crater that once was the liberal arts building. "I know I made the best decision possible," he added while glancing nervously towards the sky.
"We have put the dot in .com and now we will put the fear of agonizing death into everything else," said Joy.
Posted on Sat 11 Sep 05:11:07 1999 PDT
Written by mike popovic <editor@bedope.com> [ Author Info ]
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